Things I learned in my 20s

I recently turned 30. And one of the things that I found myself thinking when I came to it was “Where did my 20s go?”. It genuinely took me a minute to think about the things that I had done. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve actually done quite a lot and more than some people my age might have.

In my 20’s I moved to a new country. I had to learn how to adult on my own. I started my career much later than people my age. I bought my first car without anyone’s help. I have loads more of other little achievements that I am proud of.

I was freaking out a few weeks before I turned 30, but then I embraced it! After all, the 30s are the new 20s! So in this spirit, below are a few things I’ve learnt in my 20s.

Live your own life

We often see ourselves comparing our lives, especially on social media. “Oh, that person is doing that but I’m not”. “Oh, I should be doing that too”…STOP comparing yourself to others! Everyone lives different lives, everyone has their own priorities and because they are doing something, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same! So focus on your self and live your best life! And don’t forget, people only show you what they want you to see. Doesn’t mean they are actually happy!

Have fun

This one is a given, but I think we all live such busy lives these days, that sometimes we forget to have fun. Society dictates that we need to do certain things or be at a certain stage in our lives by a certain age, that we focus too much on it and just forget to have fun. So go on that holiday you wanted to. Or just go to a festival. Do something you always wanted to. I know due to the current situation some of the things you always wanted to do, but this is the perfect opportunity to start projects you always wanted to, or learn a new skill! I have actually been using my time to be a bit more creative and started to do cross stitching and embroidery.

Regret nothing

Following up the previous point, this one is super important! Regret normally holds us back. If you keep thinking about what you did or didn’t do and regret that decision you’re not going to enjoy your life. You’re not going to be able to have fun. So yes, we always regret things, like that one time we went out and drank too much and had the worst hangover next day, or parking the car even though it didn’t fit and you scratched the whole side of it (this one did happen to me) but we learn from it!

Make mistakes

YEEES! Make them. That’s the only way we learn! And if you do the same mistake 3/4 times it’s ok! Sometimes you need to go through something a few times to realise its actually not good for you, or that it was a mistake. One thing is, don’t be harsh on yourself! 

Don’t let anyone tell you what to do

We always look for other people’s opinions, and that’s perfectly ok! I can’t remember how many times I called my mum to ask her what to do in certain situations, or asked my friends what to do. But one thing I learnt is to not let their opinions influence my decisions. Yes, I know I asked them, but most of the times I went with my gut and with what I wanted to do. You know yourself better than anyone else. So please trust yourself and make your own decisions.

Spend times with those that complete your life

I think this is possibly one of the ones that I tell people the most. In certain periods of my life I know I wasted too much time investing in some friendships/relationships that I now know they weren’t right.

So my advice is to stop wasting your time with people that don’t add to your life or simply don’t care about you. Honestly, it’s all about the quality of the friendships! It’s having those that support you no matter what. Those that do want to spend time with you and bring nothing but happiness and fun to your life.

Living a stress-free life is hard as it is these days, not having the right people by your side is one thing you don’t need to add to that.

So here it is. There is so much more I could add to this but honestly, these are the important points. I don’t live the perfect life, no one does, but the reason why I enjoy my life so much is all because of these little lessons I’ve learnt!

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Blog post author: Alexa Pereira

Alexa is an adopted Scouser, originally from Portugal. After moving to a new country at 22 and only recently turning 30, Alexa is the perfect person to share her experiences of being a twenty-something!

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