It's okay to break up with a friend

Friends are the family we choose. Since we were children, we were always reminded about the importance of friendships, either on TV or in books. As teenagers, we formed friendships that we thought would last forever. And some have.

I have friends since I was in primary school that I still speak to, some others we were best friends during secondary school and I don’t even have them on social media anymore. And I think that’s normal. People grow apart.

However, there might be that one friend that we interact with on a regular basis that we realise that the friendship doesn’t work anymore. Either because the way you think has changed or you feel like they don’t bring anything to our lives. So what to do?

Making the decision to break up a friendship can be daunting, in the same way as breaking up with a partner. Something that I think should be normalised. We often think that we can’t break up a friendship because that person has been there for us all of our lives, or they have been there during the times we needed. And it is hard.

I have been in that situation previously, and it’s one of the hardest decisions I have made, but also the best. You might be thinking that was a horrible way to put it, and even though I know I hurt that friend when we “broke up” and I was also hurt by the situation, in the long run, it was the best thing to do.

We have now both moved on from our friendship and onto better things. This was a life lesson that taught me so many things:

  • If it doesn't feel right, it’s probably because it’s not right

  • You need to surround yourself with people who will make you happy to be around them

  • Your values change and that’s okay. You don’t need to stay around people that you don’t want to

  • It’s okay to put yourself first, even though that might hurt other people if that’s for the good of both

I truly believe things happen for a reason and I’ve recently realised that some people will be in your life for a reason.

If you feel like you're in a situation where you have a friend(s) who no longer fit you, that's okay. I'm here to tell you it's okay to break that friendship. It's okay to remove people from your life that don't add anything to you. Trust me, in the long run it will be better for both of you.


Blog post author: Alexa Pereira

Alexa is an adopted Scouser, originally from Portugal. After moving to a new country at 22 and only recently turning 31, Alexa is the perfect person to share her experiences of being a twenty-something!

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